Making a Decision?
Have you ever found yourself in a place where you just simply resign yourself to the “gifts” life throws at you?
In the past I have said “WTF? Bring It On! – What else have you (my universe) got for me? I am stronger than you know!”
But not today… Before 9am I had already said “WTF; I give up; I am not turning myself inside out any more trying to figure people out! I don’t know if I’m as strong as I once was…
You see I am a life coach…oh I have called it different things before (mother, daughter, wife, friend, confidante, sister, Auntie, business owner, CEO, Trustee, Director) and always that is what I do, coach people through life.
I understand what people are telling me. I listen intently with my ears but more so with my eyes – seeing every minute sign of what this person in front of me is really communicating to me. I feel their energy – their pain, I understand the values they have operating in their world and look for the questions to ask that might create some space in how they are feeling now which might provide them with enough time to decide – What’s next?
I practice daily being in the NOW for people who honor me with their presence. I will give you some examples
if I meet a person at the coffee shop or in the supermarket and they want to talk I give them their most precious gift – time!
if I talk on the phone to a coaching colleague who is having difficulty with a client who is thinking of taking their life, and I am already late for my own appointment – I give them my most precious gift – time + specific coaching knowledge on depression and anxiety!
if I am asked to share my considerable business acumen with a potential partner who is looking for support – I give them my most precious gift – time + business expertise!
if I have a family member who is sick and looking for healing – I give them my most precious gift – positive healing energy + time!
I always endeavor to make decisions based on my core values – People and Time. We are all sorely lacking in time, and it is easy to treat others as a commodity rather than the soulful entity they are.
Are other people operating out of the same values?
No! Differing values are at the root of discord, conflict, upsets, and wars. Think about it. Are you at odds with a person today? If you can, consider what are they valuing…what is important to them!
It could be time, money, relationship, friendship, expertise, people, places, authority, love or prestige and none of them are wrong…people have different values and in different order of hierarchy.
Why do you chose the restaurant you go out to for dinner – is it because it has a nice view, good food, good service, you can all fit around the table and have close intimacy…everyone will choose differently based on their values…
You cannot change someone’s values, however you can understand them. You can only adjust how you are communicating and the decisions you are making because of it… As a coach, it is important to act in a way that the other person’s values are respected and optimized so that relationships of any kind can be kept.
Do I have this sorted? – One short sharp word NO! I lost a very good friend this week – all because of values, and my inability to understand what was extremely important to the other person, my friend. Will she be lost forever – I think not – because I know her values and mine are quite similar in a lot of things – just not everything!
Hope you have enjoyed this blog…it comes from the heart in order to serve others with wisdom I have gained personally in my life.
I am not the expert in your life YOU ARE! I just create the space so you can see clearly.
Colleen Bryant – Expert Coach
Completely and Utterly Fallible!
P.S. I have an easy step method – How to Make a Decision. I will post a direct link to this on Monday.